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the lilas (EP)

by Lauren Hoffman

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1.
I spent a twisted night without sleep Wondering where did I go wrong How did I lose you I spend my listless life, I wait here Wondering Where did I go wrong How did i lose you There was a time when I believed in something better than this There was a time when I still dreamed all I do now is wish There was a time when I believed in something better than this There was a time when I still dreamed all I do now is wish I left the scream inside my mouth Pushed it down How did I go wrong Where did I lose you And god knows I know I could die here Just lie here, just lie here, just lie here How can I go on Now that i've lost you There was a time when I believed in something better than this There was a time when I still dreamed all I do now is wish There was a time when I believed in something better than this There was a time when I still dreamed all I do now is wish Dreams were made for waking and I'm making up my bed Daylight is for waiting and there's seven hours left There was a time when I believed in something better than this There was a time when I still dreamed all I do now is wish There was a time when I believed in something better than this There was a time when I still dreamed all I do now is wish I believed I believed I believed I believed
2.
don't want to go where they are cruel and cold turning me into stone, making me dry give me this warmth a sunbeam to live in, a window to look out of misery blooms on the stem of suppression, the world that you see is the one you believe sleeping in poppies, lost in the forest out of the sky, into the sea disappear, under here, pulled by the tide give me an island i am an island don't want to go where they pull out the mold casting me out of clay, making me dry give me this warmth, a sunbeam to live in a window to look out of shut out the sights, and pull tight the sheets they live in the dark and their faces you see by the sliver of light, through a cracked-open door castles and kings await you my sweet dragons will fly you far, far from here where the concrete enfolds you and they mold you of steel out of the sky, into the sea disappear, under here, pulled by the tide give me an island i am an island
3.
here in the dark dizzy from the stars that light your face the winter makes you shake let me be the warm place cuz i burn with the fire of a lifetime waiting for you if nobody sees you do you exist? don't ever fall in love with a solipsist if you're falling to pieces can she make you whole if nobody sees you break will you make it on your own? you burn through the film in shades of the sunrise and i am the moon ablaze in the first light i've been watching their faces i've seen through their eyes i've wandered through places where the desperate tell their lies and they pass like an ocean over my skin i've been holding my breath for years so they won't get in you burn through the film in shades of the sunrise and i am the moon ablaze in the first light
4.
where does the road go? i would like to see the sun prove them all wrong and shine on everyone in the morning crawling from the cobweb of a dream oh no I know all is as it seems where do we all go? girl your time is gonna come in the morning light or when the day is done where will you go and what will you have done if you’re looking at your shadow you will never see the sun i’ve been fucked up so long i don’t know what’s up or what’s down now the shapes and colors are up to interpretation i’ve been shut down so long now if you could turn me on somehow kill the cold until I shiver with anticipation where does the road end i am waiting for the one who will take me home and catch me when I run in the morning crawling from the cobweb of a dream oh no I know all is as it seems i’ve been fucked up so long i don’t know what’s up or what’s down now the shapes and colors are up to interpretation i’ve been shut down so long now if you could turn me on somehow kill the cold until I shiver with anticipation

about

before there was "choreography", there was the lilas - a band i formed with friends in charlottesville back in 2003. we played a lot of songs that wound up on choreography, but we played them quite a bit more raw and emo than they ended up on that album.
"something better than this" and "fucked up/shut down" remained lilas-only songs.
we made this EP and jay kotowski our bass player made hand-stenciled covers for them. there aren't enough of those CDs left to sell, but now you can get this digital version :)

credits

released December 4, 2020

lauren hoffman - vocals, electric guitar
karmen buttler - vocals, acoustic guitar
mark goldstein - bass
*except "fucked up / shut down (live)" - bass by jay kotowski
stuart gunter - drums

recorded and mixed by brian hoffa at sound of music studios, richmond, va
*except "fucked up / shut down (live)" recorded by craig smith live at mercury lounge, nyc

additional re-release engineering by adam lasus
re-mastered by brent lambert -the kitchen mastering
*except "fucked up / shut down (live)" mastered by lauren hoffman

all songs by lauren hoffman

cover art by jay kotowski

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Lauren Hoffman Los Angeles, California

music is exceptionally useful for communicating the nuance and complexity of the human experience because it is an emotional language, we process and respond to it in a different way than thoughts, beyond the limits of linguistics. that's why it's special and mysterious and i love it. that's why i write and sing and play instruments and make records. that's why i share my songs with you. ... more

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