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From The Blue House (Deluxe)

by Lauren Hoffman

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    When I was really little, I was enraptured by the vibe coming from the small recording studio at the back of our rural property in Virginia.
    Then...
    my parents divorced when I was six and that all went to shit.
    Fast forward
    fourteen years and I had a record deal.
    I did a lot of what other people said I should do on my first record,
    and then felt abandoned by them when that record came out.
    So I took the advance money for my second record and convinced Brian Kehew to drive a bunch of analog gear from LA to VA,
    and we revived that little studio in the woods.
    We made this irreverent record
    and I wrestled with some ghosts of my childhood family.
    'Heavy Scene' is about a fight I had with my sister.
    'Bring You Down' is about the loneliness of depression.
    'Dust Off Your Dreams' is about 'me too', but many years before the movement.
    'Rare New Disease' is about having a sexy dream about your platonic friend.
    'Song For A Boy' is about Jeff Buckley and what a mindfuck it was to love him and lose him.
    'Sister' is about my sister's real-life eating disorder - but ironically, by the time we recorded and released this, I was anorexic too.
    'Fortune On My Name' is about my relationship with my mom. Complicated.
    'Whoever You Are' is the only song I've ever released (besides YouTube covers) that I didn't write. It was written by my music teacher and mentor, the legendary Jazz trumpet-player, and so much more, John Dearth.
    'Sugarpie' is about being a slut from virginia, and an excuse to put on a country accent and get Jimmy Stelling to come in and play banjo.
    'Magic Stick' was me trying to make a song out of every stupid pick-up line I'd every heard of.
    'Look Like Shit' is about listening to Elliott Smith after midnight with some lo-fi recording gear around me.
    'The Addict' is about quitting smoking. Which is easy; I've done it dozens of times.
    'Alien Baby' wasn't on the original release but I have long loved it - it's about being abducted and impregnated by aliens, but the baby miscarries because we're incompatible species.
    'Sister' (LA Demo Version)' is from when I got to work in fancy Los Angeles recording studios with Ethan Johns and Jon Brion.
    And the rest of the songs are from an in-studio session I did in March 2000 in Paris, with Karmen Buttler helping me out on acoustic guitar and harmonies.
    ... more
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    The original first 12 tracks are included in the CD - *please note that you will get the deluxe bonus tracks included with your CD purchase as digital download & in-app streaming only*

    Includes unlimited streaming of From The Blue House (Deluxe) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 18 Lauren Hoffman releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Another Song About The Darkness EPIC EDIT, CHOREOGRAPHIC, Suffer Through? (Single), Megiddo (Deluxe), When I'm Dead (Single), the lilas (EP), The Chemical [Pandemic Remix] (Single), Mercury Girls (Acoustic) (Single), and 10 more. , and , .

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1.
Heavy Scene 03:31
If I could tell you how I feel Things wouldn't be this way I'd say I love you all the time I'd tell you every day If I could show you something real And you could do the same I'd show you I'm not made of steel I'm a shaky windowpane Well it's a heavy scene And all it brings is misery Hey pretty thing I'm not the enemy You cover me with evil stares Like I shouldn't care at all, You might as well be in Palermo But you're just behind the wall And everything I try to say Comes out the wrong way But you don't forgive and you don't forget And we go our separate ways Well it's a heavy scene And all it brings is misery Hey pretty thing I'm not the enemy I'm not the enemy Well it's a heavy scene And all it brings is misery Hey little queen I'm not the enemy I'm not the enemy (It's a heavy scene) I'm not the enemy I'm not the enemy I'm on your side it'll be alright just let me in I'm on your side it'll be alright just let me in Let me in I'm on your side it'll be alright just let me in Just let me in Well it's a heavy scene (oh heavy) And all it brings is misery It's a heavy scene (oh heavy) And all it brings is misery It's a heavy scene (oh heavy) And all it brings is misery It's a heavy scene (oh heavy) And all it brings is misery
2.
From the outside nothing looks out of place I've got a superhero costume and a happy face And if you ask you know what I'll say Everything is fine, it's great, I'm ok I'll throw a party for my fair-weather friends Just don't look now there's a big black cloud overhead And if you ask you know what I'll say Everything is fine, it's great, I'm ok I don't want to bring you down It's better you don't come around at all No I don't want to bring you down It's better you don't come around I'll be taking comfort in strangers 'Cause the little lies we tell aren't really dangerous You say how ya doin' and I'm on trial 'Cause I've been caught red-handed in a stolen smile I could be rude I could be vague I could be quiet Or look you right in the face As I lie and I say Everything is fine, it's great, I'm ok I don't want to bring you down It's better you don't come around at all No I don't want to bring you down It's better you don't come around I don't want to bring you down It's better you don't come around at all No I don't want to bring you down It's better you don't come around
3.
I'm in the middle of it Taking orders from the man But I'm ready to quit Waiting tables if I can So remember my name When you see it up in lights You'll know it was the same Girl you didn't tip tonight Look at me when I'm talking I'm not like the other girls With their heels and stockings Matching noses, lips and breasts Care of some old doc and Yes, I am better than the rest Why aren't you watching? Dust off your dreams, Emilie Dust off your dreams, Emilie Drop by my office at six He says, I'll get you in the flicks Yeah, I'll make you a star Can't you see my fancy car And my designer clothes A harmless little kiss Could get you in the picture shows Yeah I'm in the middle of it Taking orders from the man But I'm ready to quit Yeah I'm in the middle of it Taking orders from the man But I'm ready to quit Dust off your dreams, Emilie Dust off your dreams, Emilie Dust off your dreams, Emilie Dust off your dreams, Emilie
4.
It's dead quiet here But for my heart beating loud and clear Under my breast bone going like mad It's the loneliest heart That a girl ever had I had a dream last night A full house but not a friend in sight That all changed when you came through the door And you held me in a way You never held me before I'm sorry my friend I can't see you tonight I'm not feeling right, you'd better stay out of sight No you won't hear me cough or sniffle or sneeze But I think I'm coming down with a rare new disease Lately I've been feeling strange Everything's different but nothing's changed I've been shivering but I'm far from cold I try to stay calm But I'm losing control I'll keep my legs crossed I'll let my body know my mind is the boss But there's no telling if I'll really behave So you'd better stay away for a couple of days Is it hot in here or is it just me? I've got a knot in my tummy and a tickle in my knees No you won't hear me cough or sniffle or sneeze But I think I'm coming down with a rare new disease I'm sorry my friend I can't see you tonight I'm not feeling right, you'd better stay out of sight No you won't hear me cough or sniffle or sneeze But I think I'm coming down with a rare new disease It's dead quiet here It's dead quiet here It's dead quiet here
5.
This is a song for a boy Who I thought was a god But he's dead, so I guess He's not immortal after all This is a song to remember Every moment spent together In the bath or under covers This is a song for my lover I'll be talking with my father And you'll be walking into water I'll be sitting down to dinner And you'll be floating down the river I'll be singing in the shower And you'll be fertilizing flowers I'll be sleeping at eleven And you'll be looking down from heaven And it's so lonely being in love with you It's so lonely being in love with you It's so lonely being in love with you Did you ever say that'll be the day when I die? Did you ever say that'll be the day when I die? Did you ever say that'll be the day when I die? Did you ever say That'll be the day When I die? I'll be talking with my father And you'll be walking into water I'll be sitting down to dinner And you'll be floating down the river I'll be singing in the shower And you'll be fertilizing flowers I'll be sleeping at eleven And you'll be looking down from heaven
6.
Sister 03:49
She's in control now It's gonna make her happy Any day now Can you see She's... Getting smaller every day now Her body seems to melt away Smaller Every day now Open a magazine Turn on the TV Open a magazine Turn on the TV You'll see What my sister's Dying to be I don't think I know her She's turning to stone but she don't know it She can't see She's... Getting smaller every year now Her body seems to disappear Smaller Every year now Open a magazine Turn on the TV Open a magazine Turn on the TV You'll see What my sister's Dying to be I'll buy you a brand new dress Sister please promise you'll keep what's left Sister I'll buy you some brand new shoes Sister I'll tell you that I love you My sister You ain't got nothing left to lose You ain't got nothing left to lose You ain't got nothing left to lose You ain't got nothing left to lose
7.
I've been accused of changing You say I've gone astray You say I'm not the same person The person you loved yesterday So you can bet on horses You can wage it all on the game But I'm not a steed with a winning streak Don't place your fortune on my name Don't place your fortune on my name I'm not a rock so solid You can hammer me and I won't bend And I might never be your mountain But if you'll let me I'll try to be your friend So you can bet on horses You can wage it all on the game But I'm not a steed with a winning streak Don't place your fortune on my name Don't place your fortune on my name Now I'm driving down the street With your tear-stains on my cheek And you know I think you're crazy You say I'm the one who's flaky and it's something I should face You just don't fucking faze me I don't want to be your rock And I don't want to be your mountain I don't want to be your insurance policy I don't want to be the one you count on So you can take your chances And you can wage it all on my game but I'm not a steed with a winning streak Don't place your fortune on my name Don't place your fortune on my name
8.
I've been waiting a long lonely lifetime for you Hoping to find a love that is finally true Whoever you are, I hope you don't have to travel far And you'll love me forever Whoever you are As I ride down that long lonely highway without you I can't keep myself from wondering about you Whoever you are, I hope you drive a shining car And you'll take me to heaven Whoever you are And I know heaven is in your eyes Like a melody whispered to a child I've often wondered what you Would say When you walk in and find me Now I know I've driven some lovers away But they didn't have the power to stay You're my only salvation in a world of isolation You are my answer, whoever you are And I know heaven is in your smile Like a melody ringing in the skies And I've often wondered what you would say When you walk in and need me So give me somewhere to hide my fears Just one reason to ride away from here Give me something to change my life You and I could be right Give me somewhere to hide my fears Just one reason to ride away from here Give me something to change my life You and I could be right Whoever you are Whoever, whoever you are
9.
Sugarpie 02:30
You don't have to call me sugarpie 'cause I'm just coming along for the ride You don't have to call me sweetheart Let's just get on to the good part I don't wanna be a lonely girl Waitin' for you to come home from the other side of the world I just wanna see you once or twice a year And get on your motorcycle and go drink some beer Mama gave me a metal heart Said honey, you've got more important body parts Mouths are for talkin' and legs are for walkin' Don't mess around with love 'less you wanna break that heart So you don't have to call me honey or darlin' 'cause I'm not gonna be here in the mornin' I'm just sneakin' over late at night And leavin' before I see your face in broad daylight No you don't have to call me sugarpie 'cause I'm just coming along for the ride You don't have to call me sweetheart Let's just get on to the good part Mama gave me a metal heart Said honey, you've got more important body parts Mouths are for talkin' and legs are for walkin' Don't mess around with love 'less you wanna break that heart Mama gave me a metal heart Said honey, you've got more important body parts Mouths are for talkin' and legs are for walkin' Don't mess around with love 'less you wanna break that heart
10.
Magic Stick 03:14
It was early in the evening About ten o'clock I think When you said barkeep, get the lady a drink You sidled up beside me and said that's a nice dress It would look great lying next to my bed Then you handed me a quarter You pointed to the phone Said, call your boyfriend, tell him you ain't coming home Then you felt it in your cheekbone As it turned a pretty pink Barkeep whispered man that's gotta sting No way I'm not falling, not falling for this So put away, put away, put away your magic stick You could take me to Bermuda You could take me skiing in the snow You could take me any where I want to go You could spend a lot of money But I wouldn't be impressed And in the end you'd have to tell your friends I said No way I'm not falling, not falling for this So put away, put away, put away your magic stick No way I'm not falling, not falling for this So put away, put away, put away your magic stick One day you might say that I'm special And you've never felt this way before You love the way my heel sounds when it hits the floor You might tell me that you love me But I'd know what that means It means, I'd love to see you out of those jeans No way I'm not falling, not falling for this So put away, put away, put away your magic stick No way Im not falling, not falling for this So put away, put away, put away your magic stick I'm not falling, not falling I'm not falling, not falling for this I'm not falling, not falling I'm not falling, not falling for this
11.
Hunched over a microphone You're whispering and I moan, Hardly moving, one toe tapping In a hushed tone and eyes turned low While the space you take up grows I grow weak and my heart's collapsing Yeah I look at you, you look like shit But that's got nothing to do with it You open your mouth and a god comes out I look at you, you look like shit But that's got nothing to do with it You open your mouth and a god comes out It's two forty-five in the morning Being lonely just gets boring It's too late now to get wasted Yeah It's two forty-five in the morning Being lonely just gets boring It's too late now to get wasted I look at you, you look like shit But that's got nothing to do with it You open your mouth and a god comes out I look at you, you look like shit But that's got nothing to do with it You open your mouth and a god comes out I'm in my room and all alone You're turned up loud there's no-one home You're faceless and my eyes are closed I'm in my room and all alone You're turned up loud there's no-one home You're faceless and my eyes are closed I look at you, you look like shit But that's got nothing to do with it You open your mouth and a god comes out I look at you, you look like shit But that's got nothing to do with it You open your mouth and a god comes out
12.
The Addict 03:47
As a willowy tendril curls from my lip I think to myself this is it Just one more breath of your fragrant death Before I quit In the haze of your gaze I teeter and sway Nothing compares with this But I've quit you before And I'll do it again My deadly friend I come apart at the seams and very bone screams But still I deny the call After all my will is strong But not for long 'Cause I'm addicted to this Your venomous kiss I'm addicted to this In the haze of your gaze I teeter and sway Nothing compares with this But I've quit you before And I'll do it again My deadly friend I'm addicted to this Your venomous kiss I'm addicted to this
13.
I woke up in the silent night Frozen in fear As he filled my bedroom with white light And floated near I've never seen the stars like this Up close like neon signs I try to tell him I'll be missed He don't seem to mind I've been asleep for so long I woke up where I don't belong I've been asleep for so long The ground is damp beneath my feet My nightgown clings to me And though my swelling belly screams I find my bed and try to sleep I woke up in the silent night And there he lay between my legs I tried to nurse him back to life But he could not be saved I've been asleep for so long I woke up where I don't belong I've been asleep for so long You think that Jesus was the son of god Who died for all our sins But now I know there is no god And Jesus was an alien I've been asleep for so long I woke up where I don't belong I've been asleep for so long I've been asleep for so long I woke up where I don't belong I've been asleep for so long
14.
She's in control now It's gonna make her happy Any day now Can you see She's... Getting smaller every day now Her body seems to melt away Smaller Every day now Open a magazine Turn on the TV Open a magazine Turn on the TV You'll see What my sister's Dying to be I don't think I know her She's turning to stone but she don't know it She can't see She's... Getting smaller every year now Her body seems to disappear Smaller Every year now Open a magazine Turn on the TV Open a magazine Turn on the TV You'll see What my sister's Dying to be I'll buy you a brand new dress Sister please promise you'll keep what's left Sister I'll buy you some brand new shoes Sister I'll tell you that I love you My sister You ain't got nothing left to lose You ain't got nothing left to lose You ain't got nothing left to lose You ain't got nothing left to lose
15.
From the outside nothing looks out of place I've got a superhero costume and a happy face And if you ask you know what I'll say Everything is fine, it's great, I'm ok I'll throw a party for my fair-weather friends Just don't look now there's a big black cloud overhead And if you ask you know what I'll say Everything is fine, it's great, I'm ok I don't want to bring you down It's better you don't come around at all No I don't want to bring you down It's better you don't come around I'll be taking comfort in strangers 'Cause the little lies we tell aren't really dangerous You say how ya doin' and I'm on trial 'Cause I've been caught red-handed in a stolen smile I could be rude I could be vague I could be quiet Or look you right in the face As I lie and I say Everything is fine, it's great, I'm ok I don't want to bring you down It's better you don't come around at all No I don't want to bring you down It's better you don't come around I don't want to bring you down It's better you don't come around at all No I don't want to bring you down It's better you don't come around
16.
I'm in the middle of it Taking orders from the man But I'm ready to quit Waiting tables if I can So remember my name When you see it up in lights You'll know it was the same Girl you didn't tip tonight Look at me when I'm talking I'm not like the other girls With their heels and stockings Matching noses, lips and breasts Care of some old doc and Yes, I am better than the rest Why aren't you watching? Dust off your dreams, Emilie Dust off your dreams, Emilie Drop by my office at six He says, I'll get you in the flicks Yeah, I'll make you a star Can't you see my fancy car And my designer clothes A harmless little kiss Could get you in the picture shows Yeah I'm in the middle of it Taking orders from the man But I'm ready to quit Yeah I'm in the middle of it Taking orders from the man But I'm ready to quit Dust off your dreams, Emilie Dust off your dreams, Emilie Dust off your dreams, Emilie Dust off your dreams, Emilie
17.
Hunched over a microphone You're whispering and I moan, Hardly moving, one toe tapping In a hushed tone and eyes turned low While the space you take up grows I grow weak and my heart's collapsing Yeah I look at you, you look like shit But that's got nothing to do with it You open your mouth and a god comes out I look at you, you look like shit But that's got nothing to do with it You open your mouth and a god comes out It's two forty-five in the morning Being lonely just gets boring It's too late now to get wasted Yeah It's two forty-five in the morning Being lonely just gets boring It's too late now to get wasted I look at you, you look like shit But that's got nothing to do with it You open your mouth and a god comes out I look at you, you look like shit But that's got nothing to do with it You open your mouth and a god comes out I'm in my room and all alone You're turned up loud there's no-one home You're faceless and my eyes are closed I'm in my room and all alone You're turned up loud there's no-one home You're faceless and my eyes are closed I look at you, you look like shit But that's got nothing to do with it You open your mouth and a god comes out I look at you, you look like shit But that's got nothing to do with it You open your mouth and a god comes out
18.
Not so long ago I was a little thing With dolls and stars and dreams Not so long ago I didn't know much of anything But love, love, love Yeah, mama don't go away and daddy come home I'll be waiting in the backyard with my high-heels on Tell me a story about a girl and a shoe While I'm waiting for my dream to come true Yeah daddy won't you tell me what it means to be alive I've got blood and bones and love and guts And things I can't describe Daddy always shot it straight He said girl don't you know? We've got to try and find ourselves some peace Before we all go and I hope you don't mind The world's fucked up and we're all gonna I hope you don't mind The world's fucked up and we're all gonna die I love the way the sun goes round And lights up the moon I love a lazy morning When I sleep well past noon I love it when we kiss all day We roll around all night I love it when the moon peeks in And hits your eyes just right It's just right but I hope you don't mind The world's fucked up and we're all gonna I hope you don't mind The world's fucked up and we're all gonna die
19.
I fell and felt the wind outside And I didn't have a thing to say The moon and the stars released the sky And I watched them fall away I called on gods to light my way And they whispered softly in my mind And still I praise the dawn of day When they crawl and fall behind I heard the warning of the sun Remember all the days I strayed I found you The moon fell down and made no sound Watch her fall away Where's my mind I lost it too And you put my love away I lifted all my thoughts and flew And you watched me fall away And you watched me fall away I heard the warning of the sun Remember all the days I strayed I found you The moon fell down and made no sound Watch her fall away I heard the warning of the sun Remember all the days I strayed I found you The moon fell down and made no sound Watch her fall away
20.
If I could tell you how I feel Things wouldn't be this way I'd say I love you all the time I'd tell you every day If I could show you something real And you could do the same I'd show you I'm not made of steel I'm a shaky windowpane Well it's a heavy scene And all it brings is misery Hey pretty thing I'm not the enemy You cover me with evil stares Like I shouldn't care at all, You might as well be in Palermo But you're just behind the wall And everything I try to say Comes out the wrong way But you don't forgive and you don't forget And we go our separate ways Well it's a heavy scene And all it brings is misery Hey pretty thing I'm not the enemy I'm not the enemy Well it's a heavy scene And all it brings is misery Hey little queen I'm not the enemy I'm not the enemy (It's a heavy scene) I'm not the enemy I'm not the enemy I'm on your side it'll be alright just let me in I'm on your side it'll be alright just let me in Let me in I'm on your side it'll be alright just let me in Just let me in Well it's a heavy scene (oh heavy) And all it brings is misery It's a heavy scene (oh heavy) And all it brings is misery It's a heavy scene (oh heavy) And all it brings is misery It's a heavy scene (oh heavy) And all it brings is misery

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released December 25, 2019

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Lauren Hoffman Los Angeles, California

music is exceptionally useful for communicating the nuance and complexity of the human experience because it is an emotional language, we process and respond to it in a different way than thoughts, beyond the limits of linguistics. that's why it's special and mysterious and i love it. that's why i write and sing and play instruments and make records. that's why i share my songs with you. ... more

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